Whitehall Baby: A Surprise Pregnancy, Fake Relationship Romantic Comedy Perfect for Chick Lit Fans by Laura Barnard

Author:Laura Barnard [Barnard, Laura]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2021-03-02T00:00:00+00:00

Wednesday 28th October

Charlotte – 28 Weeks Pregnant

I’m drafting a memo Roger’s asked me to sort out when that sick feeling creeps into my stomach again. Oh god, not now. I don’t have time to feel rough, there’s too much to do.

My temperature soars and within seconds I know it’s coming. I stand, attempting to run to the toilets but it’s clear this vomit is not waiting for anyone. I search around in a panic. Where’s the bin? Why isn’t it under my desk? In my hysteria I choose the plant behind my desk. It’s not much, but as soon as it leaves my stomach I feel instantly better. I look around to see if anyone noticed but luckily my desk is away from others.

I just need to clean this plant up before the smell creeps up and I vomit again. I stand and, as discreetly as possible lift it up, still in its pot and carry it towards the toilet. It’s a big heavy bastard and it’s hard in these red stilettos, but I wasn’t exactly expecting an active day when I got dressed this morning. That and the leopard print heel matches my new maternity dress perfectly. I felt so chic when I left the flat. Now I’m huffing and puffing like I’m going to blow the little pigs house down. I’m getting so out of breath doing the most basic stuff nowadays.

‘Charlotte?’ Edward, a man in his sixties with red braces, says, passing me in the hall. ‘What are you doing with that plant?’ He looks down his spectacles at me.

‘Oh, just… taking it to be watered.’

He scowls back at me. ‘Surely it would be easier to bring a jug of water to the plant?’

Of course that’s would be easier. I’ll have to play dumb. I hate having to play stupid. I feel like I let down every female I know.

‘Oh yes! Silly me! What am I like?’ I fake a laugh, my cheeks heating with embarrassment.

I should have the right to vote taken away from me. I’m a disgrace.

I turn and hurry quickly down the hallway to the bathroom. I take it out of its pot and run the tap, attempting to remove my own vomit from the earth. Ugh, and now I’m heaving again. This is a disaster, muddy soil going everywhere.

I try to wash it from my hands, while heaving into another sink. I hear something clink against the porcelain. I look down to see my engagement ring has slipped off my finger and is circling the drain.

No! I watch helplessly as it slips down just before I can grab it. Shit!

I try to look down the plughole, but I can’t see it. Fuck a duck. Arthur’s priceless heirloom. The ring his Grandma told him to give to the woman he marries. And this dickhead has only gone and lost it. Crap!

My heart starts beating so fast I can hear it thrashing in my ears. I open the cupboard under the sink and look at the tubes.

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